NIGHT - EXT. PENTAGON (STOCK)

INT. PENTAGON - SUBTERRANEAN CORRIDOR

Elevator lights flash indicating high speed
elevator descending to eleventh sub-basement.
Door opens. Exit ten secret service men,
uncovering a small electric car in which
PRESIDENT MERKIN MUFFLEY is seated.

The car drives off at a good clip and the
secret service men have to pound alongside
to keep up. Crack guards armed with carbines
line the corridor every 25ft.

PRESIDENT MERKIN MUFFLEY shaves with a battery-
powered electric shaver.

The small car pulls up to a heavy metal door,
above which is inscribed the following sign:

 "CATEGORY ONE - MAXIMUM SECURITY AREA"

It is guarded by a Captain and three Sergeants
armed with carbines and 45's.

They snap smartly to attention. The
PRESIDENT dismounts and walks rapidly to the
door flanked by two of his secret service
men.

                    PRESIDENT MUFFLEY
               (absently)
      Good morning, Captain.

                    CAPTAIN
               (Zombie-like)
      Good morning, sir. Your pass, please.

The three secret service men nearest the CAPTAIN
have already flashed their passes.

                    PRESIDENT MUFFLEY
               (frowning and fumbling
               hurriedly in his pockets)
      Oh-mm, well, I'm sorry, Captain,
      I'm afraid I have left my wallet
      in my bedroom.

Starts forward. THE CAPTAIN blocks his way.

                    CAPTAIN
      I am sorry, sir. This is a
      maximum security area. Security
      Regulations 134b - Section 7.......

                    S.S. CHIEF
               (firmly in hushed tone to Captain)
      It's the President, Captain!

                   PRESIDENT MUFFLEY
      You recognize me, don't you, Captain?

                   CAPTAIN
               (eyes straight ahead)
      Yes, sir. I believe I do, sir.
      But Security Regulation 134b -
      Section 7 "White House ID Pass will
      be surrendered by all persons or
      personnel entering the War Room."
      There may be no exceptions to this
      regulation.

There is an embarrassed pause.

                    PRESIDENT MUFFLEY
      Captain, this is a very awkward and
      unfortunate situation. The National
      Security Council is already assembled
      and waiting for me on a matter of the
      gravest urgency. You have my
      personal assurance that the rules may
      be overlooked on this occasion.

                    CAPTAIN
      I'm sorry, sir, I cannot allow you
      to enter. Security Regulations 134b -
      Section ......

C. U. PRESIDENT MUFFLEY

He gives an almost imperceptible sign - a slight nod
of his head to the S.S CHIEF.

S.S. Men rush and smother the three guards in one
mass of bodies sweeping them from sight.

The S.S. CHIEF opens the door.

INT. CHAIR ROOM

The PRESIDENT enters, followed by the S.S. CHIEF
and TWO SECRET SERVICE MEN.

The PRESIDENT walks rapidly to the chair.

                    PRESIDENT MUFFLEY
               (to S.S. Chief)
      Straighten this thing out, will you,
      Charlie? Send somebody back for the
      pass.

The PRESIDENT sits down in the chair. The TWO
SECRET SERVICE MEN strap him in, step back and
nod to the S.S. CHIEF, who has stationed himself
at a wall switch.

The S.S. CHIEF throws the switch and the chair
rises smoothly and swiftly on a hydraulic shaft,
straight up and out of sight through a trap door
in the ceiling.

The President has a terrible cold, watery eyes
and a headache.

INT. WAR ROOM

The PRESIDENT's chair rises up into position
at a huge Conference Table. Twenty-nine top
ranking civilian and military officials rise.

                     PRESIDENT MUFFLEY
               (blowing his nose)
      Good morning gentlemen. Please sit
      down.

All sit.

                     PRESIDENT MUFFLEY
      Is everyone here?

There is a general stirring and clearing of throats.

                     TURGIDSON
      Mr. President, the Secretary of State
      is in Vietnam, the Secretary of Defense
      is in Laos and the Vice President is in
      Mexico City. We can establish contact
      with them at any time if it is necessary.